Last Christmas
by PrincessTiva
Summary: Last Christmas I gave you my heart...It's Christmas Eve and Kensi is alone, thinking about how Jack left her on Christmas morning. What happens when a special visitor shows up?


**A/N: Hello y'all! So, this is my Densi Christmas Story :) The inspiration for this story was "Last Christmas" by Wham (that's why there are parts of the lyrics ;D).  
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters and I don't own the lyrics of "Last Christmas" by Wham. I do however own the storyline. :D  
Summary: ****Last Christmas I gave you my heart...**It's Christmas Eve and Kensi is alone, thinking about how Jack left her on Christmas morning. What happens when a special visitor shows up?  
Enjoy reading!

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Kensi sat in her apartment on Christmas Eve. It was a hard day for her. Seven years ago she had last seen Jack and he had left her on Christmas morning.

Ever since that morning she had been careful around men, never really trusting anyone. She simply couldn't afford to get her heart broken yet again.

Sure, there was Deeks and she trusted that man with her life, he was her partner after all..and best friend. And maybe, just maybe, a little more.

But of course she would never admit that to herself. So, there she sat, alone on Christmas Eve, a box of ice-cream in her lap. Suddenly there was a knock on her door.

She closed her eyes, willing whoever it was to just go away. Kensi really wasn't in the mood for company right now. As much as she hated herself for it, she just really wanted to be alone on this day.

She didn't want anyone to see her like this. Heartbroken, sad..it had been seven years after all! No normal person would still cry over it. The person at the door knocked again, this time louder.

"Come on, Kensi, I know you're home.", she heard her partner shout. _Oh great, just great_, she thought. If he saw her like this, he'd feel sorry for her and she really didn't want that.

But then again, having Deeks around was always a good option. To be honest, she loved having him around. And maybe today would actually be a pretty good timing.

Maybe he could be able to cheer her up. She pondered her options, then sighed and got up to get the door. When she opened it she looked right into Deeks' ocean blue eyes.

He smiled at her but there was also a slight bit of concern plastered across his face. "Hi Kensi.", he greeted her, his smile almost melting her.

"Deeks. What are you doing here? It's Christmas Eve. Shouldn't you be somewhere..special?", she questioned. His smile faded and he suddenly seemed very serious.

Then in a small voice that was just above a whisper he admitted: "Nowhere else I'd rather be." She was taken aback by this. Never in a hundred years had she expected him to admit to such a thing.

Right, their "thing". That was another problem she really didn't want to address today but as far as one could tell from Deeks' expression this was the direction this evening was gonna head in.

"Can I come in?", her partner eventually broke the awkward silence and she quickly nodded, opening the door further and stepping out of the way.

They walked over to the couch and Kensi offered him a drink but he said he didn't want one which was strange because he usually wouldn't have denied it.

So, instead of getting them a drink she just brought her half empty box of ice-cream back to the fridge. She leaned against the kitchen counter, her face to the wall, and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

Suddenly she heard a cough behind her. "You okay, Kens?", Deeks asked, his voice laced with concern. She took another deep breath and then turned around, forcing herself to smile.

He took a step towards her. "Look, Kens, you don't have to pretend to be fine when clearly you're not. It's me, okay?! You know I'd never judge you or think any less of you.", he told her.

She nodded. "I came so that you wouldn't have to be alone. I know how hard today is for you. But I'm here for you and I need you to understand that. You can trust me, Kens. I'll listen to you and I'll do anything in my power to make you feel better.", Deeks said.

"You...remembered.", she stated. She really hadn't expected him to remember what today was. He was..Deeks. Usually he'd make a joke and then just forget about it.

But apparently not this time and it was that new side of Deeks she was seeing lately. That caring, loving side of him. Instead of saying anything about her statement he just smiled at her.

"So, you wanna talk?", he eventually asked. She looked down again, unable to meet his eyes. "What about we just sit down and you can talk if you wanna talk and if you don't wanna talk, we can watch a movie or something.", he suggested.

Kensi flinched. She really didn't want to watch a movie tonight. The last Christmas Eve she'd spent with Jack, they'd watched a movie together. Therefore, watching a movie would probably not be a good idea.

"Look, Deeks, it's really just crap and..", she started but he cut her off: "I'm willing to listen to anything you want to say, Kens. That's what I came here for." For the first time she looked up again and met his eyes.

She mouthed a silent "thank you" and then lead the way to the living room, hoping he'd get the hint and follow her. He did and so they sat down on the couch together.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Deeks sat across from her so he was able to face her. "Well, you already know most of the stuff.", she eventually stated.

He smiled a little and nodded but it wasn't the kind of nod that told her to stop. It was the kind of nod that told her to continue, no matter if he already heard some of it.

Her heart melted at that realization. Never in her life had she felt so wanted, so...loved. That thought shocked Kensi. It was scary but .. nice at the same time.

Maybe, just maybe, Deeks was the guy she was looking for after all. _Cut it out_, she told herself. Now was not the time to think about that. She needed _and_ wanted to tell Deeks the whole story.

It actually felt kind of good to be able to tell someone. So, she took a deep breath and locked her eyes onto Deeks. It would be easier that way because his eyes would give her all the support she needed.

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears,  
I'll give it to someone special _

"Well, you know that I found out Jack had left on Christmas morning. He just disappeared during the night.", she started. When she saw Deeks nod again she took a deep breath and then continued. She knew that her next words were most likely gonna hurt her partner.

"On Christmas Eve we had been talking about our wedding. I was so excited and he seemed to be excited, too. We said how it was gonna be our last Christmas as "just" a couple. The next Christmas we would be married. Sometime after dinner he had a sudden panic attack again. It was over quite quickly though and I really thought he was getting better. We went to bed and I told him that..I loved him again. He didn't say it back that evening. Instead he..he just..walked out the door.", she told Deeks and as she reached the last part she started crying a little.

Deeks shuffled forward and without a word he pulled her tightly against his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her back and whispering sweet little nothings into her ear to soothe her.

_My God, I thought you were someone to rely on  
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on  
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
A man under cover but you tore me apart  
Oh oh now I've found a real love  
You'll never fool me again _

"Kens, it's okay. He'll never hurt you again.", he eventually dared to whisper. He wasn't sure how Kensi would react to those words. Jack had been her fiance after all and she had loved him.

Deeks wasn't even sure if maybe his partner still had feelings for Jack. "I know.", Kensi said, her voice quite firm. Deeks was surprised by that answer. He surely hadn't expected it.

"But what if I'll never stop being a fool, never stop falling for the guy that doesn't even love me back?!", she asked. She sounded so desperate and hurt that it tore Deeks' heart apart.

"You'll find the right one for you, Kens.", he promised her. She pulled back out of his embrace and looked right into his eyes. She was shocked to find tears pooling in his eyes.

Was she the cause for this? Apparently he did care about her. So, maybe she could tell him? But what if he thought it was just because she was hurting?

Would he even believe her? And what if he didn't love her back? _The l-word again. Am I really ready for this? What if he rejects me?_, she asked herself. Eventually her heart won the inner battle: "What if I already found him?"

Deeks' hands immediately left her body and he looked at her, his eyes reflecting a mixture of horror and hurt. "You..you did?", he wanted to know. Kensi simply nodded.

"Um, that's good for you I guess. Does he know?", he went on. She stared right into his eyes. "I don't know. I always thought he suspected but maybe he doesn't.", she replied, finding it a lot easier to talk about her feelings, referring to him in the third person.

"Either way, he's a lucky guy. You should, um, tell him.", Deeks stated carefully. Her eyes widened. Did he really not get it? Or was he just trying to get outta this?

She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. His eyes lowered and he looked at their hands, then back up into her eyes. "Who is the guy?", he asked.

When she didn't reply right away he explained why he wanted to know: "I just wanna make sure he doesn't hurt you like Jack did. I wanna make sure he's..good enough..for you."

Kensi stared at him, unable to say anything. He really didn't get it. He apparently thought that she was talking about some other guy. And, apparently, he was upset about it. Hurt even.

"Deeks,..", she started but he cut her off: "Kens, just tell me. Who is it?" "You.", she whispered. His mouth opened and closed a few times and he just stared at her. "I..wha..me?", he eventually managed to get out.

She nodded sheepishly. Immediately he pulled her into his arms again. "God, Kens, you could have just told me. That was torture. I thought you'd found some other guy and I had missed my chance. I really thought I had missed my chance to tell you..", he rambled but then trailed off.

"Tell me what?", Kensi whispered as she pulled away again to look into his eyes. "That I..I love you.", he finally told her. She smiled at him. "I love you, too.", she said back, surprised at how easily those words rolled off her tongue.

He leaned forward a little and gently pressed his lips to hers. As they broke the kiss, she leaned her forehead against his and silently asked: "Stay?" "Are you sure?", he murmured and she nodded.

"Just..", she started but trailed off, embarrassed by even thinking about it. But he read her thoughts. "I'm not him, Kens. I would never leave you. Never.", he promised her.

She smiled up at him and kissed him again. Maybe Christmas Eve wasn't so bad after all.

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears,  
I'll give it to someone special, special _

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**A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Joyeux Noël! Felix Navidad! Buon Natale! Frohe Weihnachten! I hope y'all have a wonderful holiday with your family and maybe friends. Hope you get everything you wished for ;)  
Please leave a review on your way out and tell me what you think! Maybe as a Christmas present? ;)  
Love y'all and Happy Holidays!  
~ C.**_  
_


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